Sponge bath it is.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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