he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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