3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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