She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
