fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
