see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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