pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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