Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

You were.

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(330): View more from Ohio

she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot

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(348): View more from

I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say

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(815): View more from Illinois

Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"

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(337): View more from Louisiana

he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?

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(626): View more from California

I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.

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