I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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