you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
