you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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