after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
