i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
