Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
FUCK WHALES
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize