And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
