Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
