I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
