If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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