what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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