1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
