Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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