you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
