I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
