Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
