What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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