I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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