Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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