To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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