Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He shit in the fireplace
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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