Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
