i barfeds in our rink
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
