I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
