Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
