he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You've changed since you got that strap on
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
