porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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