you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
