Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize