i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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