I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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