I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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