I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
