38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
