Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
