THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
