FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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