The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
honey bunches of taint.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
