So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
