not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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