we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
