i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
