Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
