i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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