YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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