Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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