I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
