Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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