I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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