We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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