thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
