did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
