maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
