im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
