It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
