it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
