tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
