I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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