i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
