he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
